Filk Songs

for more LYRICS see also -- <This link's target cannot be found> and BVM web pages

*"filk" is a variant of "folk" used to refer to sf & f songs

Cthulhu You're Breaking My Mind

Give My Regards to Orthanc

God Rest Ye Scary Great Old Ones

Smaug the Magic Dragon

THE ASTEROID LIGHT

1. My father was a keeper of the asteroid light.

He slept with a Martian one fine night.

Out of the match came children three.

Two were mutants and the other was me.

Yo-ho-ho! The jets run free.

O, for the life at the speed of c.

2. When I was but a space cadet,

They put me in charge of a proton jet.

I cleaned the tubes and filled them with fuel

And I picked my teeth with an old sliderule.

3. One night as I was heading for the moon

And asinging a well-known spaceman's tune,

I heard a voice cry out of the void

And there sat my mother on her asteroid.

4. "O what has become of my children three?"

My mother then she asked of me.

"One is on exhibit in a zoo on Venus

And the other keeps a telepathic link between us."

5. The deuterons flashed in her hydrogen hair.

I looked again and my ma wasn't there,

But she telepathed angrily out of the night,

"Then may God bless the keeper of the asteroid light!"

1. Casher's quest did not finish on the planet of Pontoppidan,

Not on the cliffs of Hippy Dip, nor even Anderson,

Not where he saved Perino's horse or the girl named Genevieve,

Who owned all the gems, but dreamed of might-have-been,

Where he got taught by D'Alma more than ever he cared to know

About the way to happiness, about the Old Strong Way,

Because he left the old, wise dog and the one he might have loved

To run alone for the umpteen thousandth day.

2. The killer's quest did not end on the planet of Henriada,

Though coming through the twister, even getting to Beauregard,

Where he tried to kill a turtle, who had lived nine centuries,

For to do away with T'Ruth proved much too hard;

He scared Go-captain John Jay Tree and mad Murray Maddigan

And gave the gift to fiercely want to the Children of the Wind;

He looked upon the wooden cross of the spacewitch Agatha

And was reminded how horridly he'd sinned.

3. Then Casher followed after the robot, the rat and the Copt

And so made it all the way back home instantaneously,

Back to the sand planet, to Kaheer, the capital he'd fled,

And from wicked Colonel Wedder set it free.

Yet the quest was not ended in the place of the O'Neils,

But beyond the deep, dry lake that lies beyond the Thirteen Nile,

Beyond the Jwindz Jo and beyond the Kermasse Dorgueil,

The place to be himself, on Mizzer all the while.

refers to Quest of the Three Worlds by Cordwainer Smith, the quest of Casher O'Neill of Mizzer, "the Sand Planet", via Pontoppidan, "the Gem Planet", and Henriada, "the Storm Planet" back to Mizzer and beyond

CTHULHU YOU'RE BREAKING MY MIND

Cthulhu, you're breaking my mind. My sanity's vanishing daily!

O Cthulhu, I'm down on my knees.

I'm begging you: "Please,

1. I picked up this ancient book by some guy named Al-Haz'red,

Read two chapters. Now it seems

You're disturbing my days and you're haunting my dreams.

2. Half-awake in the early morn with my lover sleeping by my side,

When I feel a nameless dread

And I turn on the light and find you in my bed!

3. Hiding out in the afternoon in a room at Miskatonic U.

Elder signs from ceiling to floor

And there's star-stones to block off the windows and door.

4. Consternation! You've found me again.

I crawl in the closet and shiver.

Consternation! You've found me again.

I crawl in the closet and shiver.

refers to the Cthulhu mythos begun by H. P. Lovecraft

GIVE MY REGARDS TO ORTHANC

ttto "Give My Regards to Broadway"

Give my regards to Orthanc.

Remember me to Barad-dur.

Tell all the orcs from old Nan Curnir

That I'll be there for sure.

Whisper of how I'm yearning

To mingle with that Morgul throng.

Give my regards to Shelob's lair

And tell her I'll be there ere long.

refers to Orthanc, the tower of Isengard and Barad-dur the fortress of Sauron, Nan Curunirin the Isen River valley in the Misty Mts. where Isengard was located, Morgul ("black magic" in Sindarin), the giant spider Shelob whose lair was under the Ephel Death Mts. on the border of Mordor near Cirith Ungol ("Spider Pass"), The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien

GOD REST YE SCARY GREAT OLD ONES

ttto "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

1. God rest ye scary Great Old Ones. Let everything dismay.

Remember Great Cthulhu shall rise up from R'lyeh

To kill us all with tentacles if we should go his way.

O tidings of madness and woe, madness and woe,

O tidings of madness and woe!

2. In Yuggoth and Aldebaran the Great Old Ones left spawns,

Imprisoned by the Elder Gods to wait for eons,

E'er enticing their release by hapless humans.

3. An Arab wrote: "That is not dead which can eternal lie

And with strange eons even death may die."

The Great Old Ones will rule once more; them none will defy.

refers to the Cthulhu mythos begun by H. P. Lovecraft

IN THE T. A. R. D. I. S.

ttto "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"

1. In the TARDIS, the quiet TARDIS the Doctor sleeps tonight.

He's set directions for London, England. Let's hope he gets them right.

The TARDIS lands in a barren wasteland. The Doctor feels a turkey,

'Cause he knows he must have missed that left at Albuquerque.

2. In the wasteland, the barren wasteland the Daleks fire shots.

They're superbeings, designed to conquer, but look like pepperpots.

Mutant monsters with machine bodies and superhuman brains,

With gun and plunger, they've come to kill you and clean out all your drains.

3. The Daleks were once a race called Kaled, who had a Kaled senate,

'Til one day when a coup was lead by Kaled Davros Kennet.

Davros rebuilt the Kaleds right and threw out what was left,

Turned them all into automatons; their consciences he jeffed.

4. The Daleks planned to subvert the Humans and rule all their affairs,

'Til the Doctor outsmarts his foes with a plan involving stairs.

The Daleks thwarted, the Doctor moves on, until they meet again,

In the meantime the Doctor does much the same with Cybermen.

refers to the TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimensions in Space) machine in which the Doctor travels, his archenemies, the Daleks, their creator Davros, and the Cybermen, "Doctor Who" series

INNSMOUTH LULLABY

Where are you going, my little one, slimy one?

Fish eyes and clammy skin, where have you gone?

Turn around and there's two. Turn around and there's four.

Turn around and -- my God! -- there's a few hundred more!

Turn around, turn around, turn around,

There's a monster lurking outside your door.

Where are you going, my little one, my slimy one?

Webbed feet and tentacles, look at you now!

Turn around and you're a young man.

Turn around and you're a frog.

Turn around and you're a batrachian striding off toward the bog.

Turn around, turn around, turn around,

Child of Dagon, wading off in the fog.

refers to the mutant descendants of Capt. Obed March of Innsmouth, Mass., The Lurker on the Threashold, "The Shadow over Innsmouth" by H. P. Lovecraft

MINDMELDER'S LAMENT

to "Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious"

1. When I started thinking

When I was just a tot,

I learned to think of thinking

And not to think of not.

Many of the thoughts I've thought

I think that I forgot,

But there's a certain thought I've thought

I think that I cannot:

"I thought I thought I thought a thought,

But only thought I did.

That thought that I thought I thought

Was not the one I did.

That thought I thought was not the thought

I thought I thought I did;

'Twas a thought I never thought

And yet I think I did!"

2. When I'm thinking I've thought that thought

More than I think I ought,

I try thinking no thought

Rather than think that thought,

But then that thought I overthink,

I thought I would think not,

Proves it's one I cannot not think

And in my thoughts I've got:

MISKATONIC SHADOWS

Miskatonic, we fear the shadows where the eldritch monsters loom.

With trembling hands and hearts aflutter, we peer into the gloom.

We enrolled as bright-eyed freshmen, little guessing of our doom.

Now we shiver in the dungeons of Miskatonic U.

refers to Miskatonic University, Arkham, Mass., specializing in "medieval metaphysics",The Outsider and Others, Beyond the Wall of Sleep by H. P. Lovecraft

OMICRON CETI III

Mr. Spock, Mr. Spock, you are my favorite E. T.,

Though I'd not call

You at omicron Ceti.

With Leila you'd swing.

It's so sad you lost her!

May you live long and prosper.

refers to ""This Side of Paradise" by Nathan Butler and D. C. Fontana in which Spock uncharacteristically laughs, swings from a tree and returns Leila Kalomi's love while under the influence of euphoria spores which make colonists survive Bertold rays but not really live.

ttto "The Drunken Sailor"

1. What would you do with a hungry tribble? (3x)

If you had a tribble?

Quadrotriticale!

2. What would you do with a dozen tribbles, (x3)

If you had a dozen?

3. What would you do with a hundred tribbles, (x3)

If you had a hundred?

4. What would you do with a thousand tribbles, (x3)

If you had a thousand?

5. What would you do with ten thousand tribbles, (x3)

If you had ten thousand?

6. What would you do with too many tribbles, (x3)

If you had too many?

7. Beam them all to the Klingon spaceship. (x3)

Beam them to the Klingons.

8. What did the Klingons do with tribbles? (x3)

What'd they do with tribbles?

9. They fed the tribbles to the glommers. (x3)

Or at least they tried to.

10. They hunted down and killed the tribbles. (x3)

'Til there were no tribbles.

11. What would you do if there were no tribbles? (x3)

Timetravel back and fetch one.

vv. 1-7 refer to "The Trouble with Tribbles" (Star Trek: The Original series) and vv. 8-9 to "More Trouble, More Tribbles" (Star Trek: The Animated series) both by David Gerrold, and vv. 10-11 to "Trials and Tribblations" (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine series) by Ira Steven Behr, Hans Beimer and Robert Hewitt Wolfe

SMAUG THE MAGIC DRAGON


	index for more LYRICS see also -- <This link's target cannot be found> and BVM web pages FILK* SONG LYRICS "filk" is a variant of "folk" used to refer to sf & f songs The Asteroid Light Casher's Quest Cthulhu You're Breaking My Mind Give My Regards to Orthanc God Rest Ye Scary Great Old Ones In the TARDIS Innsmouth Lullaby Mindmelder's Lament Miskatonic Shadows Omicron Ceti III Quadrotriticale Smaug the Magic Dragon To Isengard! THE ASTEROID LIGHT* 1. My father was a keeper of the asteroid light. He slept with a Martian one fine night. Out of the match came children three. Two were mutants and the other was me. Yo-ho-ho! The jets run free. O, for the life at the speed of c. 2. When I was but a space cadet, They put me in charge of a proton jet. I cleaned the tubes and filled them with fuel And I picked my teeth with an old sliderule. 3. One night as I was heading for the moon And asinging a well-known spaceman's tune, I heard a voice cry out of the void And there sat my mother on her asteroid. 4. "O what has become of my children three?" My mother then she asked of me. "One is on exhibit in a zoo on Venus And the other keeps a telepathic link between us." 5. The deuterons flashed in her hydrogen hair. I looked again and my ma wasn't there, But she telepathed angrily out of the night, "Then may God bless the keeper of the asteroid light!" CASHER'S QUEST ttto "Star Drive" copyright 16000 by Spiek D'Vel'Nahr 1. Casher's quest did not finish on the planet of Pontoppidan, Not on the cliffs of Hippy Dip, nor even Anderson, Not where he saved Perino's horse or the girl named Genevieve, Who owned all the gems, but dreamed of might-have-been, Where he got taught by D'Alma more than ever he cared to know About the way to happiness, about the Old Strong Way, Because he left the old, wise dog and the one he might have loved To run alone for the umpteen thousandth day. 2. The killer's quest did not end on the planet of Henriada, Though coming through the twister, even getting to Beauregard, Where he tried to kill a turtle, who had lived nine centuries, For to do away with T'Ruth proved much too hard; He scared Go-captain John Jay Tree and mad Murray Maddigan And gave the gift to fiercely want to the Children of the Wind; He looked upon the wooden cross of the spacewitch Agatha And was reminded how horridly he'd sinned. 3. Then Casher followed after the robot, the rat and the Copt And so made it all the way back home instantaneously, Back to the sand planet, to Kaheer, the capital he'd fled, And from wicked Colonel Wedder set it free. Yet the quest was not ended in the place of the O'Neils, But beyond the deep, dry lake that lies beyond the Thirteen Nile, Beyond the Jwindz Jo and beyond the Kermasse Dorgueil, The place to be himself, on Mizzer all the while. refers to Quest of the Three Worlds by Cordwainer Smith, the quest of Casher O'Neill of Mizzer, "the Sand Planet", via Pontoppidan, "the Gem Planet", and Henriada, "the Storm Planet" back to Mizzer and beyond CTHULHU YOU'RE BREAKING MY MIND ttto "Cecilia" Cthulhu, you're breaking my mind. My sanity's vanishing daily! O Cthulhu, I'm down on my knees. I'm begging you: "Please, Go away! Go away!" 1. I picked up this ancient book by some guy named Al-Haz'red, Read two chapters. Now it seems You're disturbing my days and you're haunting my dreams. 2. Half-awake in the early morn with my lover sleeping by my side, When I feel a nameless dread And I turn on the light and find you in my bed! 3. Hiding out in the afternoon in a room at Miskatonic U. Elder signs from ceiling to floor And there's star-stones to block off the windows and door. 4. Consternation! You've found me again. I crawl in the closet and shiver. Consternation! You've found me again. I crawl in the closet and shiver. refers to the Cthulhu mythos begun by H. P. Lovecraft GIVE MY REGARDS TO ORTHANC ttto "Give My Regards to Broadway" 9560 BC Give my regards to Orthanc. Remember me to Barad-dur. Tell all the orcs from old Nan Curnir That I'll be there for sure. Whisper of how I'm yearning To mingle with that Morgul throng. Give my regards to Shelob's lair And tell her I'll be there ere long. refers to Orthanc, the tower of Isengard and Barad-dur the fortress of Sauron, Nan Curunirin the Isen River valley in the Misty Mts. where Isengard was located, Morgul ("black magic" in Sindarin), the giant spider Shelob whose lair was under the Ephel Death Mts. on the border of Mordor near Cirith Ungol ("Spider Pass"), The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien GOD REST YE SCARY GREAT OLD ONES ttto "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" 1. God rest ye scary Great Old Ones. Let everything dismay. Remember Great Cthulhu shall rise up from R'lyeh To kill us all with tentacles if we should go his way. O tidings of madness and woe, madness and woe, O tidings of madness and woe! 2. In Yuggoth and Aldebaran the Great Old Ones left spawns, Imprisoned by the Elder Gods to wait for eons, E'er enticing their release by hapless humans. 3. An Arab wrote: "That is not dead which can eternal lie And with strange eons even death may die." The Great Old Ones will rule once more; them none will defy. refers to the Cthulhu mythos begun by H. P. Lovecraft IN THE T. A. R. D. I. S. ttto "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" 1. In the TARDIS, the quiet TARDIS the Doctor sleeps tonight. He's set directions for London, England. Let's hope he gets them right. The TARDIS lands in a barren wasteland. The Doctor feels a turkey, 'Cause he knows he must have missed that left at Albuquerque. 2. In the wasteland, the barren wasteland the Daleks fire shots. They're superbeings, designed to conquer, but look like pepperpots. Mutant monsters with machine bodies and superhuman brains, With gun and plunger, they've come to kill you and clean out all your drains. 3. The Daleks were once a race called Kaled, who had a Kaled senate, 'Til one day when a coup was lead by Kaled Davros Kennet. Davros rebuilt the Kaleds right and threw out what was left, Turned them all into automatons; their consciences he jeffed. 4. The Daleks planned to subvert the Humans and rule all their affairs, 'Til the Doctor outsmarts his foes with a plan involving stairs. The Daleks thwarted, the Doctor moves on, until they meet again, In the meantime the Doctor does much the same with Cybermen. refers to the TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimensions in Space) machine in which the Doctor travels, his archenemies, the Daleks, their creator Davros, and the Cybermen, "Doctor Who" series INNSMOUTH LULLABY Where are you going, my little one, slimy one? Fish eyes and clammy skin, where have you gone? Turn around and there's two. Turn around and there's four. Turn around and -- my God! -- there's a few hundred more! Turn around, turn around, turn around, There's a monster lurking outside your door. Where are you going, my little one, my slimy one? Webbed feet and tentacles, look at you now! Turn around and you're a young man. Turn around and you're a frog. Turn around and you're a batrachian striding off toward the bog. Turn around, turn around, turn around, Child of Dagon, wading off in the fog. refers to the mutant descendants of Capt. Obed March of Innsmouth, Mass., The Lurker on the Threashold, "The Shadow over Innsmouth" by H. P. Lovecraft MINDMELDER'S LAMENT to "Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious" copyright 2373 by Spiek D'Vel'Nahr 1. When I started thinking When I was just a tot, I learned to think of thinking And not to think of not. Many of the thoughts I've thought I think that I forgot, But there's a certain thought I've thought I think that I cannot: "I thought I thought I thought a thought, But only thought I did. That thought that I thought I thought Was not the one I did. That thought I thought was not the thought I thought I thought I did; 'Twas a thought I never thought And yet I think I did!" 2. When I'm thinking I've thought that thought More than I think I ought, I try thinking no thought Rather than think that thought, But then that thought I overthink, I thought I would think not, Proves it's one I cannot not think And in my thoughts I've got: MISKATONIC SHADOWS ttto "Shenandoah" Miskatonic, we fear the shadows where the eldritch monsters loom. With trembling hands and hearts aflutter, we peer into the gloom. We enrolled as bright-eyed freshmen, little guessing of our doom. Now we shiver in the dungeons of Miskatonic U. refers to Miskatonic University, Arkham, Mass., specializing in "medieval metaphysics",The Outsider and Others, Beyond the Wall of Sleep by H. P. Lovecraft OMICRON CETI III ttto "Adelweiss" copyright 2373 by Spiek D'Vel'Nahr Mr. Spock, Mr. Spock, you are my favorite E. T., Though I'd not call logical You at omicron Ceti. Fascinating With Leila you'd swing. It's so sad you lost her! Still you loved And were loved. May you live long and prosper. refers to ""This Side of Paradise" by Nathan Butler and D. C. Fontana in which Spock uncharacteristically laughs, swings from a tree and returns Leila Kalomi's love while under the influence of euphoria spores which make colonists survive Bertold rays but not really live. QUADROTRITICALE ttto "The Drunken Sailor" copyright 2373 by Spiek D'Vel'Nahr 1. What would you do with a hungry tribble? (3x) If you had a tribble? Quadrotriticale! 2. What would you do with a dozen tribbles, (x3) If you had a dozen? 3. What would you do with a hundred tribbles, (x3) If you had a hundred? 4. What would you do with a thousand tribbles, (x3) If you had a thousand? 5. What would you do with ten thousand tribbles, (x3) If you had ten thousand? 6. What would you do with too many tribbles, (x3) If you had too many? 7. Beam them all to the Klingon spaceship. (x3) Beam them to the Klingons. 8. What did the Klingons do with tribbles? (x3) What'd they do with tribbles? 9. They fed the tribbles to the glommers. (x3) Or at least they tried to. 10. They hunted down and killed the tribbles. (x3) 'Til there were no tribbles. 11. What would you do if there were no tribbles? (x3) Timetravel back and fetch one. vv. 1-7 refer to "The Trouble with Tribbles" (Star Trek: The Original series) and vv. 8-9 to "More Trouble, More Tribbles" (Star Trek: The Animated series) both by David Gerrold, and vv. 10-11 to "Trials and Tribblations" (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine series) by Ira Steven Behr, Hans Beimer and Robert Hewitt Wolfe SMAUG THE MAGIC DRAGON ttto "Puff the Magic Dragon" 1. Smaug the magic dragon lived on the heath And in the Lonely Mountains lay with treasure underneath. Little Bilbo Baggins set off one summer day With Gandalf and a bunch of dwarves to steal his gold away. Smaug the magic dragon lived on the heath And in the Lonely Mountains lay with treasure underneath. Smaug the magic dragon lived on the heath And in the Lonely Mountains lay with treasure underneath. 2. The dwarves when caught by goblins escaped with Gandalf's aid And Bilbofound a magic ring that Gollum had mislaid. They left the goblins puzzled. They thought it very weird How thirteen dwarves, a wizard and a hobbit disappeared. 3. They journeyed through the forest. From the path they strayed. They'd all have been spider food without the hobbit's aid. Escaping out of Mirkwood, the dwarves arrived in Dale, Floating down the river ceverly disguised as kegs of ale. 4. They journeyed to the mountains to find the dragon's store And five helped to find and open the secret door. The dwarves were all delighted when their burglar stole a cup, But Bilbo wondered what would happen when old Smaug woke up. 5. The dragon when awakened was terribly perturbed. Suspecting men of Laketown when he found his gold disturbed, He flew with burning vengence to leave the city charred. He perished as his heart was pierced with an arrow shot by Bard. 6. The mountainfolk returned; the river flowed with gold And Mr. Baggins turned at last back toward his hobbit hole. Returning from adventures, from war and dragon's lair, He found Lobeliz walking off with his silverware. refers to The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien