The NorburyChronicle

 e-newsletter of the Holmesian Studies SIG of American Mensa

since ’88, Baker Street Irregulars scion since ‘95

 "Nothing is concealed that will not be revealed." (Mark 4:22)

Issue XLI                                                                                                  Spring '14

Sig News

W e have received an e-mail from

Annie Sunshine: "Hello! I am a Mensa member, and I would like to join the Holmesian Studies SIG! I am absolutely in love with the book series, and I adore the Sherlock TV show as well! Thanks!"

F or those who have written that they tried and failed to find us on facebook, link via my (Michael Joseph Halm) page or go to: https://www.facebook.com/groups/holmesianstudies/


W e also received a review copy of Sherlock Holmes and the Adventure of the Modern Cinderella by Thomas Owen and after receiving an e-mail about it, read the reviews of The Final Tales of Sherlock Holmes. We'll give you the good news first. Owen's book was quite entertaining. It has the damsel in distress with a mysterious past, "Molly", Prince Anthony of Grautania (near Ruritania?), and an unexpectedly little mystery.

T he Final Tales of Sherlock Holmes by John A. Little does have Lily Hudson and Jasper Lestrade vs. "the Goatslayer", serial killer of musicians in 1925. "London Fog" wrote "The historical accuracy was nil - too much of the antagonist's motivation seemed rooted in 21st century sensibilities." Cyril Patrick Feerick noted, "All of the elements for a strong Holmes story are here, but they seem to be a bit disorganized. That been said, I did enjoyed this one." We would appeciate more feedback on this from members.


More Punishments

W e trust that even Holmesian that are not also Mensans can deduce at least the significant elements of the stories between the titles and pun-chlines.

"All's Well That Ends Well" by Benton Wood: "You've heard of the London derriere?"

"An Ursine Three Course Dinner" by Robert C. Burr: "[The bear] swallowed all three… hawk, lion and stinker."

"And an Order of Hash Browns" by Newton Wiliams: "Hammond eggs"

"And Did He Bounce?" by Benton Wood: "[Do you know] where one could cache a small Czech?"

"And Then There Were Two…" by Robert C. Burr: [They asked for] "separate Czechs."

"Another Famous British Tradition" by Robert C. Burr: "[Another famous British tradition is] the guarding of the change."

"Anstruther's New Undertaking" by Robert C. Burr: "Anstruther has stiff competition."

"Any Church in a Storm" by Robert C. Burr: "[He rushed] into a church with a bear behind."

"Art in the Blood" by Robert C. Burr: " This Lautrec was born Toulouse."

"Art in the Blood Is Not Necessarily Transmitted" by G. Earle Hamerstrand: "A fool and his Monet are soon parted."

"Batter Up!" by Robert C. Burr: "[It was] an inside the pork home run."

"Beer Drinking Songs" by Robert C. Burr: "Leave no stein untuned."

"Bet You Can't Eat Just One" by Robert C. Burr: "Good chips, Mr. Bayh!

"Better Safe Than Sorry" by Robert C. Burr: "I might get a hole in one."

"Biblical Love" by Richard Milne: "[Joseph] served in Pharaoh's court."

"Blessed Are the Poor" by Robert C. Burr: "[He's] putting all his begs in one 'ask it'".

"Breathe, Push … Breathe, Push" by Robert C. Burr: "She's going through her contractions."

"Breathing May Be Hazardous to Your Health" by Robert C. Burr: [He's suffering] with a pane in his stomach."

"Chinese Dental Clock" by Alan C. Olding "... tooth hurtee too."

"Chomp And Barf" by Robert C. Burr: "[This was] a true scandal in bulemia."

"Come Blow your Horn" by Robert C. Burr: "[They were] the Tuba Four."

"Comparative Anatomy, Primitive" by Alan C. Olding: "[The] girl married beneath her station."

"Critic's Choice" by Robert C. Burr: "[He] doesn't know his brass from his oboe."

"Critic's Choice" by David J. Milner: "He stoned the first cast."

"Czech This One Out" by Robert C. Burr: "I wonder where one would cache a small Czech."


F rom last issue you all, of course, deciphered:

"A Disturbance at the Zoo": "The gnu has gnumonia."

"The Case of the Baker Street Burglary": "One has a pack of lies and the other a lack of pies."

"The Farmer's Market Fracas": "One of them spilled the beans."


Porlock's Puzzles

F rom this issue you all, of course, will decipher this mystery.

"After 'Sweeney Todd'"

We had just finished "The Case of the Demon Barber" in which Holmes had risked his life by taking the place of murdered Mark Humphries. It had shaken me more than I cared to admit. It was not the murder of Humphries who I had only just met, but the likely murder of my dearest and best friend that shook me to the quick and his overdone performance of murderer-victim in the title role. I only nodded when my triumphant companion saw through my façade and suggested a bit to eat at Restivo's.

I was still lost in my morbid thoughts when the waiter asked us what we would have. Holmes answered:

"