I had to go to my girlfriend's funeral today. It was a blessing to be able to talk with some of her other friends, but we all shared the same feelings of loss and helplessness.

I tried to move on and celebrate the wedding I had hoped to be with her at that evening, but it wasn't at all as I'd hoped. The only thing that I can figure is that the Lord knew that if we had married I would have not been able to have taken this.

I dreamt of her -- naturally. I asked her, "Are you really dead?" and she answered "Yes, I am."